Before I got back to work it occurred to me (you know the typical mom guilt feeling leaving your child to pursue your career), I could be more productive by staying at home raising my child and seeing her grow before my eyes. Wrong! (My husband kept reminding me) I had six months off to figure my life out after the baby, I almost decided to quit my job and start my own business so that I could spend more time with the baby while earn my own money.
I soon then realized that I could never get anything done including my chores even though I was at home 24/7, I woke up early hoping to sort few things out, nothing ever get done. I’ve got laundry piled up every day, dishes to clean every now and then, I’ve got to make my own food, sort the toys out yadiyadiya…oh yes, not to forget this list doesn’t include feeding my baby every 2 hours or less (as she’s exclusively breastfeed baby), play with her, nappy change etc…
How on earth will I ever be able to start my own business while looking after my child? How will I be able to work at home while looking after her?
I wake up with new motivation and new strategy to do things every. single. day.
Nothing ever get done. 0%.
And sometimes when I did have the chance to do something for myself, it’s either I’m too tired and just wanna do nothing or I wasn’t ready to do it because I wasn’t in the mood to do it.
Even if I manage to sort some chores out and run some errands, it’s like I was expected to do that and never get a pat at the back for achieving some things (in life?!).
I plan to go multiple places in a day. As the day goes by, I then narrowed it down to maybe two places nearby. Nope. Reality check: just one place is enough for the day.
I plan to build her a playhouse and paint it all by myself like I saw on Pinterest. I then know it’ll sit there unpacked for God knows how long since the delivery of the item. I ended up throwing the money to the problem. My husband got someone to do it for me! It’s like he knows I won’t be able to do it.
I plan to sort my balcony out before the summer so that my girl can start playing on it; my mom who came for a week holiday managed to sort that one out for me.
I plan to cook healthy meals for myself (and my girl), not gonna happen today. But when it did happen, no one eats them!
I plan to do some work out despite my busy schedule; never happened.
I plan to go to bed early soon as I put my girl to bed, I ended up playing with my phone for an extra hour – that I considered as ‘me’ time.
To the moms who feel like they’ve achieved nothing in the day, I feel you. To the moms who did everything but no one appreciates or even notice any difference, I feel you. To the moms who wake up every day thinking they’ll do something productive and ended up changing their mind half way through the day because they’re tired or for whatever reasons, I’m with you.